My Mind is a chaos

In days like this where the sky cries its heart out and tears come banging on my door

Bluster of memories echo through my spine, reaches deep, pierces the core

It wakes me up like I had slept for too long

Tornado of emotions, too wild, too strong

I try to steady myself clutching too hard on my bone

I struggle but let go because I know I  can't survive my own CYCLONE.

Don't hold back

Break the chains, cut those ropes

Smash that wall, breathe life to hopes

Don't quit, take some rest if you must

Starve your doubts, strengthen your crust

There won't be flowers if there's no rain

If you want to rise, learn from your pain

Listen to your heart, it knows that which is true

Remember you only  grow what you go through

Aim high, don't settle for less

Deal with hardships, fly away from your mess

Don't give up, hustle till you die

Don't hold back, fail miserably but rise up and try

Vaanya Chapter 5(Drama)

 I have always loved acting but acting has never loved me.In my head I was the protagonist of every Shakespearen act. However that was not my reality. I had to join the college drama community by hook or crook. That's when writing got into my mind. I started writing scripts for Annual intercollege drama competition. As if a succession of failures, my scripts never got selected until today of course. "Whoaa!! Is this some kind of prank? I need to talk to Ess" I abrupted.

I hopped into the shower finally feeling some control over my life. Odd things had happened and I didn't know what to expect next. 

Ess had texted me to tell that she would be waiting in the canteen. I reached college and was walking in the hallway when Mr. Koay from Drama community called me from behind. I know its him because he pronunces my name wrong every time. 

"Its Celeste Mr. Koay not Misty", Essie has told him for the third time one day. "But Misty is a beautiful name. It suits her", he had told her off. One couldn't argue with Koay firstly because he was too old to argue with and secondly because he wouldn't listen. 

"You can call her Vanyaa aswell Mr.Koay", said a voice and then chuckled. My eyes went wide and tounge went dry. I knew that voice but what was he doing in my college?

Slow down a little

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you..."(John 14:27)

We live in a time where time is always a question. Everyone's in a hurry, hurrying their way through temporary things, carrying upon thir shoulders the load of fulfillment. They are ignorant to the fact that this speed is leading them to their fellow men in gravestones resting there permanently.

The pace of modern life has tired man emotionally, drenched him mentally and poisoned his soul. Man today wants everything to be done immediately. It's now or never. "But God won't go that fast, he will not endeavor to keep up with you", says Norman. V. Peale, the author of  the famous book" The Power of Positive Thinking".

This generation need to stop or atleast slow down. Here are a few steps to slowing down:

1. Don't fret over things. A seed won't give fruits in a day. Give things time, learn to be patient.

2. Let go of nervous excitement. Remember, " To go fast one must row slowly".

3. Atleast once on a day stop whatever you are doing, close your eyes and listen to your heartbeat, observe your breathing and relax.

4. Practice being peaceful and present in the moment. It mightnot come immediately but practice it until it becomes a habit.

5. Get yourself a mantra like " I am in peace with myself. I breathe in calmness and breathe out stress".

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Vaanya(Chapter4: Essie)

Essie aka Ess is a big mess and unfortunately my best friend. The latter would be a lie because she is a blessing not a misfortune. Apart from Mom if I have somebody I can count on its Ess. We were not always this close though.

I was a new student in  the 7th grade and she was 'Miss Popular' already. Our thoughts were poles apart. I was a nerd who wouldn't be seen anywhere else than the library and the last place she would  visit was the library. So if you ask how we ended up being best friends then the answer is music. The universal language of music was what we bonded over. She was the lead vocalist and I was a pianist for school band. Ever since then we were inseparable.

She's my best friend does not take away from her the fact that she's a mess. She's the one who fixed me with Ronan in the first place. She was desperate I find someone because apparently she had found her 'the one' but I hadn't started looking for him yet.Thanks to her I ended up being followed by a stranger.

I searched for my bag but it was nowhere to be found. All my belongings from the bag were spread out on the study table. "Oh, mom saved them from soaking " I thought. My cell phone had twenty five missed calls and three texts. All calls and two texts were from my mess. The third was from college drama community. "Miss Celeste, your script has been approved for  the annual drama. Congratulations, please contact our new literature head. " it read.

Autumn

Life's not always spring and sunshine. Prepare yourself for the autumn aswell because there comes a time where all leaves fall off you and you don't understand what's going on. You will then feel empty, exposed to the harsh wind waving through you. You are likely to fall apart . Hold on dear one! cling on to the last ray of hope as  you are to  be born again to the vastless potential of life. The change that scared you will teach how beautiful it is to let go of  things that no longer serve you. Till then just hold on.

Vaanya(Character 3: Returning Home)

Not a single thing went right. My whole day had ruined. I fought to hold my tears back. It's not that I am sensitive but sometimes it just gets hard. As if God responded to my prayers, it started to rain.I burst into tears. Atleast no one would know I was crying that way. I went into paroxysm and  lost grip over my emotions. I walked one step at a time so that I could cry my heart out. When my heart felt light and water dripped from every where, I reached home. 

"Celeste! Have you lost your mind?" my mom yelled. She was there  in the verandah, looking more relieved than angry. I stood still as she ran down the stairs to me and  hugged me tight. "Why didn't you pick up my call? she asked worriedly. I melted away in her arms.

Sometimes home is two eyes and a heart beat and that was true about Mom.

I looked into the mirror. Rain soaked clothes clung to my skin, pruney fingers and remote eyes. I didn't feel like myself. Mom called for dinner. I changed and hastened to join her. 

"Tell me about today", she suggested. I kept quiet and started encircling my fork around the plate pretending not to have heard her. "Whenever you feel like, okay?" she said, gently patting my shoulder. That was a relief. Mom didn't allow me to do the chores. "You need rest sweetheart, she said in her warm tone. I kissed her good night and went to my room. 

I woke up to Mom's voice. She told me to check my phone. "Essie has been trying to reach you all morning, she told me she'll come over if you don't pick up her calls" mom giggled.